Made of Decorum

Long time no talk or should I say "no blog: I do apologize but it's my blog and I'll neglect if I want to. The lack of posts (besides the PR pictures) can be summed up by two things:

1.) Re-defining what I want my blog to be about
2.) Not wearing anything particularly note-worthy the entire winter.

I will be honest and say fashion has become a bit of a non-factor as I figure out what I want to be and do with my life. That's not to say I still don't appreciate aesthetic (I have a tumblr after all) but, on a scale of 1-10, staying abreast of the latest skirt from Zara everyone is wearing is about a 2. Additionally, personal style blogging has become such a commodified act that I do wonder if there is authenticity left in it at all. The pseudo celebrity nature of it has become exhausting to witness.

I am getting off base. I could create a whole entry complaining about how personal style blogging is the new "selling out" but this isn't that entry so I'll move on.

Satisfaction is the great equalizer. I thought about this after listening to a short clip of Beyonce's Oprah interview. The only thing that stood out to me was her mentioning that she was "never satisified". I thought about it and thought about it some more.

Beyonce "The Great", love her or hate her, is undoubtably one of the most, if not THE most. successful women in music right now and that quote is why. Beyonce is an egomaniac and most likely a shrewd bitch of a business woman. Media personality notwithstanding you do not get to the top being nice.

As any egomaniac and shrewd bitch of a business woman would say, one does not ever become satisfied because to become satisfied you must stay stagnant and to stay stagnant means you're vulnerable to usurpers who are obviously inferior to your greatness.

As a non egomaniac and therefore never eligible to become the next Beyonce, I take that phrase to mean something slightly different. I look at it introspectively and relate it to my own ambitions and accomplishments. I am currently not satisfied.

I don't believe most of my peers are satisfied either but there comes a point where you get into a pattern in which you force yourself into a state of contentment to maintain sanity... I suppose. We complain and complain but ultimately we succumb to the virtual idea of "satisfaction". We have a job, we finished our education, we have our own apartment, we've lived in another country, we just got promoted, we are...satisfied.

However, the satisfaction is the thing that separates the goods from the greats. It's not a matter of working hard or getting recognition or having a few unique experiences it's about grabbing your life by the vagina and going after what you truly want and stop living for status quos. I am so done living by status fucking quos.

Life doesn't change over night but little by little you have to be willing to trade away comfort for something thrilling and unlike everything you've already done. What that is for me personally is a mystery but I know it's right on the horizon.